Sorry....

Well I just tried to use a new flogger that was given to Me at O/our New Year's BDSM Open house and I pooped out..

Hell even morningstar, which is recuperating from a medical test last longer....

Maybe it is time to hang up My Dom title and privileges???

Sorry morningstar :-((

Sir

Nothing else needs to be said

Heart Broken

Last week I was jumping up and down when I ordered my personalized license plates for the car ( see My blog Oct 10th blog ) even though My first choice wasn't available My second choice was just as good.  I should have known I something was going happen just like everything else.

Well here is the answer.....

Oh, they took My money right away, butt it will take 2 weeks before I get My refund, what a governmental rip off!!!

So now I am going to try this one, sure can't see them saying no this time.

What do you think....

I now live in a province that allows personal license plates something I have always wanted but Quebec ( as always, being stupid to make money) wouldn't allow.

One can't use certain words and that is ok I can see that thinking...  I tried a few choices but to My surprise I got the following plate accepted ( unless they change their minds later )...

I am going to love having it on the car... Although it is going to be hard to explain to some of My vanilla friends why I choose that.  What do you think of this as an explaination: " I feel I am am always in bondage in some form or another " ?

Just for your information My first choice was KnottyMe but that wouldn't work so the below would have worked:

Well, now I will sit and wait for 4-6 weeks until MY plates arrive in the mailbox...

Speaks volumes...

I did try to obtain permission for this photo, I couldn't find a link to the photographer so if he he has a problem Me using his photo, please let Me know and I will delete the blog..

There is something about this photo that speaks volumes to Me....

This is why????

Some folks might be wondering why it has been soooooo  long since I have posted a blog, of course some folks couldn't careless....  Well the short answer is, every time ( well almost every time ) I blog/say something that gets Me into trouble with the people I care about...

Over My 60 years I have marched to Own drummer and honestly I am knot going to change either...  yes, yes I know that is a big mistake butt hell I am knot going to change now.  It is strange though, people may hate ( might be too strong a word ) the way I do things, butt when they are in trouble or need something done correctly guess who they call on -->>> YUP Me...

Now, if Y/you haven't been reading My morningstar's blog ( and honestly you should she writes MUCH better than I ever will ) you don't know that I have sold My house and will be moving to another province within a month...  Maybe when I have finished will all the Bull Shit ( Quebec side ) and get the computer system/house in working condition I will write about My experiences and feelings.

So, there is the short answer to where I have been....  I do hope you missed Me, butt I can well understand if Y/you didn't..... 

Hint, hint......

That phrase was really more of a challenge from morningstar in her latest blog, and I normally don't back away from challenges and this is NO exception to that rule.

Here is her challenge: " W got some fun presents - one especially meant for both of us (and hopefully W will post pics of it on his blog - hint hint!!! ) " It was/is a shame that she upset the Cold Gods just before Christmas break or she would have found out on Sunday ( that is when the present arrived ) night just how good this present is...... she will have to wait until she is much better health wise.

And before I forget, I wish to thank the couple that gave me this 60th birthday present and I do hope now that I am a Senior Citizen ( the Bank and Governments tell me I am ) I can last long enough to show her how good it REALLY is.

The 1st picture shows the whole flogger, the 2nd picture is a close up of the tips and the final one shows a REAL good close up of the tips ☺

Let the games begin soonnnnnnnnnn........

Well, I have done it one more time....

Once again I have caused morningstar pain ( and I don't mean the good kind ). I had to make a choice and I thought the one I made was the best one ( really there was no good choice ) for the occasion, well all I did was make her cry >>>> once again...

God I am tired of making these goofs, butt I seem to keep making them no matter what. I guess it should have been Me instead of George Bailey in that movie only this time Clarence doesn't get his wings..





Bah Humbug, I do hate Christmas, even more this year!!!

Is it time to revoke My licence???

My Dom's license is under serious review for My stupid f@#$king actions and in My mind and other I am sure should be revoked! Soul searching is required this week..

Now, that you are going Huh, morningstar's blog tells the whole story much better that I can ( she is very good with words ). I would like to say though I owe a big THANK YOU to those people ( and they really are more than just people, Angels come to mind ) for coming to morningstar's assistance.

All I can say to morningstar is I am so very sorry for My mistake and the pain ( knot the good type either ) I caused her.

Follow up

I got this from Florida Dom the other day in a comment section of an earlier blog:

*******
Florida Dom said...

We trust you. Tell us how it went.

FD

*******

well honestly, I don't kiss and tell or in this case hit and tell, butt morningstar did and writes SO much better than I do did so why don't you drop by and read it here.

All I will say is W/we both enjoyed the session ☺

I hope that answers your question FD??

Sir

On the weekend W/we attended VASEcon “VT's first all-day kink conference” and it was a wonderful conference although W/we only attended 2 of the many seminars. The organizers even arranged for a fire drill in the rain. All the people that ran this event and those who gave the seminars must take a bow for a lovely job that I could see. I am looking forward to the next VASEcon to be held.

Now the main reason for attending was morningstar wanted to and for Me to learn how to use a cane better than I have been, the instructor, switchme, was great as far as I am concerned and I know morningstar also thinks the same as her blog tells about it since she was the instructor's test subject for the lecture ( I was proud of her volunteering while I was pushing her hand up ☺ ). I was very proud of her after the caning she got.

Once the lectures were over, the many vendors that the organizers brought in were allowed to sell their wares and there was my pleasure and downfall. The vendors that attended had wonderful things too wonderful ( as the photo shows ), as I spent more money than I had or will have in the next couple of months, but my thanks go out to Knotty Designs for their lovely gray/orange rope flogger, TotemX Creations for the rabbit mitten complete with pen nib talons, RopeExtremes for the brilliant and vibrant bronze and silver rope and Spankysleather for the black leather 3-in-1 slapper ( he even threw in very nice simple brown leather slapper ).

Now, I did do a simple test of these new toys on morningstar's ass the next morning butt since it was still sore and marked from switchme's lecture I haven't really tested them out properly that their creators meant them to do, butt it will happen..... oh trust Me on the score.

It isn't a secret anymore...

I have been told by an old friend that I am scared.. well I think he might be right, although I denied it when it was said, and most of today that word hasn't left me..

The list is long right now and is getter longer ever day..

Guess what, I am scared to write this blog, so I am going to end it right now...

Scared...

I am scared of...

Saying the wrong thing...
Doing the wrong thing...
Living...
Failing even more...
Screwing up...
Going broke...
Homeless...
Not being able to fix things...
My health...
Love...
Talking...
Understanding things...
Answering questions I can't answer myself...

This is only what comes to this foolish old man's mind, or what my mind will allow me to voice...

Fed up

Well I need to say this and it isn't any need to respond to what I say.....

I am fed up of being politically correct.


I am fed up of having to fight for things that shouldn't have to be fought for.


I am fed up of always having to be nice.


I am fed up with pleasing everyone.


I am fed up with seniors trying to do something they will never get the hang off. ie: computers


I am fed up knot being able to do things that I should be able to.


I am fed up with life.


I am fed up with Governments that waste tax payers money, but expect me to pay $27,000.00 in taxes for something I haven't sold but they say I have even though they know I haven't.


I am fed up with knot being able to get a hard on because I am scared to try my Viagra again, even though I not longer care if I die or not.


I am fed up with knot being able to the Dom that I should be.


I am fed up with making people cry.


I am fed up with knot being able to clear out my house of all the junk or sell what I can.


I am fed up with worrying about my old age without a pension, because I screwed up when I was younger.


I am fed up knot being able to talk to a Professional about these things.


So now that you have heard me bitch out loud just go on with your life's like I never said anything or had been here.

A reply to morningstar's blog....

This morning morningstar posted a blog about waiting for my feedback to her question about my feelings regarding us, well I sent her an email back about it but I felt that I should post my reply so her readers could continue with her " Adventurous Journey " so here it is:

My Little me....

I do hope that I can answer this email without screwing up the words, since you know I can do that very easily....

I don't know what questions you think I have in my mind. The only thing in my mind is how can I figure out what I am looking for/what out in our relationship from your " new " change of being if you are still mapping it out in your mind. I do know until you have figured out things clearly in your mind I can't nor able to figure out if our relationship will work out to your thinking.

I do however know that I don't want you ever to stop being a friend, no, a good friend! The thought you not being my friend upsets me alot and did when we parted before.

I am sure this isn't the answer you were looking for but at this time and place it is the only one...

your Big Me....

ps: I think I am going to cut and paste this to My blog...

morningstar's medical update continued.....

Back to the drawing board.... things didn't work out :-((

morningstar's medical update continued.....

Well another day down and no further ahead... morningstar had a test ( I won't mention what one ) this morning that didn't work so tomorrow the Medical folk are going to try it again but using something stronger, if that fails well, I am not sure what will be left... Just to let you all know I am being REAL good about some of the jokes I could use right now...

On the good side her spirits are much better ( even her hunky looking surgeon says so ) since she has been allowed to go out and have a cig or two. she has her computer now but no internet connection so at least she can play her games. she is having troubles with the hospital food though, although the dietitians are visiting her daily to find something she likes and her body will accept...

That is all for now...

morningstar's medical update continued.....

Well, I have just arrived back from visiting morningstar and the visited started off in tears since in the past couple of days the Medical folks have been telling her " she has something, she doesn't have something ".... All this did for her was have her stomach in knots and knot the good kind!

During our visit one of her Medical folk ( a senior Doctor ) dropped in and without dawning a yellow protective gown he headed for the bottom of her bed and started off by saying she didn't have C-Dificle , but did have a thing I can't say much less spell. The bottom line was she is going to be ok ( unless another Medical folk says something else ) even though he felt she should stay in the hospital for maybe another 10 days to get more drugs and a follow up CT scan.

So, what do you think morningstar did when he left the room after saying she could go anywhere in the hospital she wanted, yes you guessed it, out for a smoke and here is the picture I took while she was enjoying the first cigarette in four days at -10c....



All in all this was a good visit, don't you think? More to come next week ( the Medical folk are off on weekends...

morningstar's medical update

Hi everyone,

morningstar's is still in the hospital getting more tests and and drugs to help her get her strength back and fight off the nasty things that are making her sick.

The surgeon talked to her this morning and they have found something that could be several things but need to do more tests before they narrow down what it really is. she is a bit down ( something I do understand ) but I have told her to hang in there until ALL the tests are in before she starts worrying.

I didn't stay long because between the tests and the doctor's news morningstar wanted to be alone ( she is never really alone ) to think things out and rest up from those tests nasty side effects...

That is all I know for the moment...

" It's Time " update......Update....

Hi all,

It is now almost 1am and I am just getting to this as I left the hospital at 11:00 and needed to do a few things first...

morningstar has now had her operation and it looks like a 100% successful even with her low blood pressure right after her surgery. She must be on the mend as she was refusing the nurses wishes of using a bedpan versus the walk-in toilet....

I will know tomorrow morning if I will be bringing her home tomorrow to start her recovery..

That is it right now.... I am sure tomorrow afternoon or evening you will be hearing from morningstar once again....