Sunday, December 18, 2005

Failed???


I am sitting here watching My littleone running around the place like a busy bee and also sad at the same time and I am wondered why I have failed her so badly...

Since I walked into the condo on Friday and was greeted with a crying and wired subbie, I haven't been able to figure out what to do.... should I turn around and go back home?, should I strip her bare and beat the hell out of her?, should I take her in My arms and hold her until she is back?, honestly I just don't know thus I have failed her and Me....

I know I am second guessing Myself when I think of what I should to and really just do what is in My heart and the back of My mind, but I have always been this way when there is a serious problem and in the long run I usually do the wrong thing when it comes to people's emotions and I end up hurting them even though My actions were clearly meant to do just the opposite effect and that makes Me sad...

So, I have failed since a Dom should make sure He is always in control, something I am clearly not at the moment, for if a Dom is not in control how can He control something He holds most dear to Him, so I have failed and if there was a CEO of Doms, then I would have been fired or at best demoted....

I have been thinking lately that maybe I am not the Dom that I think I am or should be and what is the next step I need to take, before something goes seriously wrong??

Back to the drawing board.... It ain't over yet I hope...

7 comments:

CLoud said...
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CLoud said...

My friend at this time of the year there are great emotions that cannot be controled instead they must be nurtured. You are an excellent Dom but like us all, you and I do not always catch the warning signs sometimes it is not up to control but to listening and communication these emotions happen every year at this time perhaps it is more of a vanilla emotion that you must show to the effort rather than the reason and just go with the flow. Give her what she needs for her sub side and give her what she needs for her Christmas side. Now you can be a bit of the GOS enjoy the sparlkle of lights and fairy dust play with her but do so with a holiday out look after all those pagans had some really raunchy times could be fun just to have some whild frolicing under the misletoe and whip her back into shape in Jannuary.

cherish said...

In my humble opinion Sir, You are a wonderful Dom and morningstar is very happy. I personally think her meltdown was completely Holiday overload. We all get that, the last minute running around, hoping everything is perfect all wrapped up in being extremely excited over the holiday. Holiday Overload!

I enjoy morningstar's blog immensely and mostly because of the wonderful relationship you two share!

Lady Baltimore said...

You must be doing something right. She can't seem to get enough of you.

Buffalo said...

Too many times to count I have been in a situation that demanded action, I didn't know what in the hell to do and someone - or several someones - were counting on me.

The solution is often in the doing, rather in chosing the exact proper action.

If you can't impress them with your knowledge then dazzle them with your BS.

Jo aka SeaRabbit said...

I'm very impressed reading that you are questionning yourself about your Dom side... This is rare around here... just like it is rare to see a blog writen by a Dom...
I came around to tell you how I appreciate your comment and how it helped me breaking some hard shell... I did my task... but I still feel so bad about all that...
Thank you for your so interesting words..

Minionette said...

Hmmm yers like Sea ...I am also impressed by your writing...and how honest you are hmmm it is very interesting to me...to read your inner thoughts...

Good on you...