Have I once again, screwed up things, I think so, ( NO I KNOW SO )? littleone has stopped blogging something she has always done and loved on a daily basis.
Over the weekend I said something to her and as usual I said it incorrectly, even though what I said needed to be said in My foolish mind. If that wasn't enough I sent her an email saying that I think there should be no more vanilla things or two houses done anymore.
Was My timing wrong HELL yes, ( she is still having flu problems ) was what I said wrong no as I have noticed more and more how upset ( My word not hers ) she was getting with dealing with these and other subjects.
I was telling a client today ( that had noticed I was very short tempered ) that everyone wants Me yet if I say no when I am overloaded they get upset when I am not there. I told her that I was between a rock and a hard place and I wasn't keeping ANYONE happy especially Me. If I drop out they will be pissed, if I stay I am going to angrier and they will get pissed too.
Honestly, I just don't know what the hell to do. I know I am not giving littleone what she wants/needs/deserves and I honestly don't know at this stage if I ever can. It isn't her fault in anyway but Mine, but I know she will blame herself and nothing I do/say will change her thinking ( there is that rock again ).
As her youngest is always saying " Sucks to be you ", what I am thinking is where is Clarence from the movie " It's a Wonderful Life " ? As I am feeling more and more like George Bailey. I have/am screwing up more things than I am fixing.
I know what I have said will make her cry, sick to her stomach and few other things, but this is what going around in My brains that is full of rocks.
Everyone seems to think I have all the answers, well this time I haven't got any and the ones I do have no one is going to like...