How does a Dom not " break " His subbie of her spirit? Now let Me explain or try to that question a bit and yes Cloud I know I am going to get myself in trouble... When a submissive voices verbally or facially her disapproval of something the Dom has done or said the normal reaction is to punish her, but that will cause her to feel upset, pissed off or other emotions that I can't express properly. Here is an example, the other day I moved some BDSM storage furniture around in the same room, but didn't tell My littleone, although she did know I was moving furniture around, when it came time for her to clean up after W/we had played she gave Me hell for moving the storage box without telling her where I had moved it to... Now to be fair I don't live at the Condo 24/7 but rather on weekends only thus she has to live in the Condo the other times and it may not suit her way of living when I am not with her, but does that really matter?
I have always thought ( rightly or wrongly ) that a Dom's wishes, desires, commands and decisions are basically final and unless there is a safety issue the submissive must accept it quietly and without any facial expression comments.
I am afraid if I punish her for these acts of ( what would one call it, defiance?) she will become silent all the time which is something I don't wish....
4 comments:
I think perhaps a little talk between the two of you is needed, addressing relationship role issues and that talk needs to include making clear how she is to behave and what you will not accept from her in the way of defiance and telling you off. Perhaps she is seeking punishment and the defiance is her cry for it, if you'll excuse me saying so Sir, I notice you expressing your thoughts on how a Dom should behave when really is actually behaving that way which will get results satisfactory to the two of you. Why would she remain silent if you make it quite clear that this is not acceptable behaviour? Why would she resent punishment if she has been shown why it is deserved? My Partner/Dom sometimes asks me what I want to do, asks permission for things and the like, all very polite and in a vanilla relationship this would be considered perfect behaviour, I on the other hand would much rather be told exactly what to do, what he is going to do, how I must behave and what I may not do or say, this way I am happy as can be and content in my knowledge of our respective roles within the relationship, I dislike it intensely when I don't feel he takes control of me and my behaviour, and it ONLY on these occasions that we have ever had any problems. A firm hand and I'm happy, He's happy and all is well in our world :)
Sally
I am impressed that you care about her feelings. You are a true dom! I do not think she should be punished for expressing her opinion as long as she did it in a respectful way. You do not wish to have a robot. I think she has the right to express her opinion or her unhappiness with the situation. In the same breath I do not think she has the right to change it back without permission, bitch continuously or be a pain about it. But if she expresses the reason why she is not happy with the new location and you indeed understand her reasoning and give her permission to move it back I do not think that makes you less of a Dom.
Good Old Sir
My my, you do know how to open a can of worms. Trully you know what I am going to say but I will say it anyways. GOS that is the problem. You must be consistent first of all and a GOS is not. You worry about her feelings and not about the reason she is a sub. she wants rules and protocols she does very well with them and littleone has never had a problem expressing that to you . You will not break that girl by strict rules such as a set free time to speak and how to speak of such matters . Free time to talk means that politely speaking about concerns not giving her Dom hell. My advice set rules and be consistent with them at all times. You know she wants to enter the condo on Fridays be stripped and crawl to you on all fours , she wishes her poor actions to be reviewed and she expects punishment for them as she expects rewards when she is a great sub. Give that girl a weekend of slavery to you with rules, protocols punishments play session and the decisions taken away from her and you will have a perfect sub for the week to follow let GOS take over too much and some one can be very braty will push buttons and neither of you will be happy.
Remember what she said to me when I left for Saturday night "be tough with her that is what she needs" was not just meant for the one I was going to see. I have seen in her eyes when you are strick there is love there she knows you care about what she is doing.Confusion will cause her spirit either to break or the brat to arise. I will not rehash just put GOS in the back of the closet for the weekends take him out for the weekdays.
as always your friend
CLoud
Sir...... i apologise yet again for not being the best sub i can be..... it breaks my heart You know Sir.....
i don't offer any excuses for my behaviour... there are none.. but i did try (operative word is TRY) to explain my reaction in my blog .......
Your littleone
http://wtsubbie.blogspot.com/
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