Wondering??

I wonder why people/bloggers leave comments on other blogs and then never seem to go back to check if the person they have left their comments to has answered their comments??

Some will, some won't....

My memories will only die when I do, unlike others that threw them out in the trash bin....

An admission of being a phony....

NOW before everyone goes nuts, I am NOT blaming morningstar in any way shape or form GOT IT !!!!

I have to be honest with the BDSM world and myself, I have been a phony Sir/Master for the past 10 years after reading morningstar's past few blogs...

When reading the blogs I have noticed that I was unable to obtain the level of pain, marks and other things that her S&S Masters are achieving with her and that is wonderful for her!

But it makes me think that I was a phony big time by calling/acting like a Sir/Master that I couldn't even do the most simplest of BDSM functions, like ice playing with her, like marking her, like making her take the breast beatings that she is now accepting from them never from me and many more things I am sure of.

So to the BDSM world that I knew and loved and to morningstar, I am so very sorry that I called myself a Sir/Master or even thought I could be a Sir/Master.

I don't want or look for any forgiveness, because I don't deserve any for my past actions of being a BDSM phony.

The only honorable thing to do is to leave once all the paperwork is done and hopefully that will be finished by the end of next month since I only meet with the Notary ( Lawyer ) on the 15th.

Something I have learnt about myself....

Something I will be fixing real soon, then everyone will be happy...

Taking things for granted.....

Everyone is needed, wanted, loved......

Sometimes we forget or take it for granted:

To say to them,
To hold them,
To love them,
To spoil them,
to the people we should & must care for,

because just thinking our actions alone are enough to make/keep them happy

WELL IT ISN'T JUST
EVER ENOUGH TO THINK IT!!!!!

Don't EVER FORGOT IT
or
you WILL loss it !!!!!

I know, I did :-(( and I have paid the price dearly for forgetting that.....

It says it all.....

It saves your mind, that is if you had one.... something I don't think I ever had...

Reply to morningstar

Dear morningstar:

First off, I see you have used my real name which I have no problem with ( but I can see someone's hand in that one ), but I still have honor and will not use your real name in this response.

Now, let me say this up front about your family, I can only assume you are referring to the letters I sent out this past week to each of them saying how sorry and to apologize to each of them for putting them through the pain that I put them through in the past. I wasn't looking for them to reply, nor forgive me, but I needed to say how honestly sorry I was and had no intentions to ever contact them again. You can them it will not happen ever again, I just thought I owed it to them, guess I was wrong again.

As for you getting on with your " new " found BDSM lifestyle honestly I have accepted this and honestly it was nice the last time I saw you smiling, laughing. I felt it was awkward for us to be in the same room, so I decided then and there to not show up at anything you were attending to make it easier on you. Also, when one of your " play partners " wrote me and said I was " interferring in my playtime " that only confirmed my decision to stop attending events even those that I had been personally been invited to so I wouldn't be interfering with your " new " life and to let your " play partners " be able to attend to your needs since they seemed to be having troubles in that area.

As for comments, basically I did the same thing as attending places with some exceptions when you posted or commented something that was vanilla/BDSM, like " ...silly men... " and then I would respond back " what about silly women? ", comments that would be made by anyone but you decided to ban me and that was ok, since anyone can ban anyone for what ever reason they choose no matter how petty that decision is.

There are only two things that still bother me about this whole fucking breakup, but I don't think I will ever get the honest answers from you, so I move on. I am sorry thought that I ruined your life for the past 10 years.....

In conclusion, I feel that in your mind/feelings ( what ever word(s) you wish to use ) I am as good as dead, maybe that is what should have happened. You have asked me to " Please Warren - let it go for once and all " so unless you, your family or " play partners " respond/blog or email directly I WILL NOT BE CONTACTING YOU, I AM DEAD AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, hell who knows it just might happen anyways!!!!!


*** Note for those readers ( and you know you are ) of this blog that felt I should stop blogging about this breakup in public I just wanted to let you know I didn't start this one, but I needed to reply to morningstar and her small comment space won't have worked. ***


*** NOTE morningstar has since taken down her " Open Letter " blog that was the result of this reply blog ***