A Sad Anniversary

Today would have been O/our 10th Anniversary !!

Sadly, I blew it and forgot to over the last few years of O/our togetherness to connect with morningstar with more than just actions of love, being there when you were hurting, but WITH LOVE!!

I know morningstar isn't or will except these words but I am sorry,

sorry that I didn't show you enough the love that was always in My heart
didn't say enough that I loved you
didn't hold you close enough to Me

Now, I have nothing but loving fond memories of a love that has come and gone, gone, gone.....

Happy Anniversary to a former friend and partner, morningstar, you will be missed :-(


ps: There is no place for comments because I am tired of people telling Me to move on, well I have but I am allowed to have My memories of a lady that I thought would be there for the rest of My life.

I don't get something.....

I know I am stupid so no one has to tell me this once again.....

Today I commented ( she has removed my comments ) to morningstar on her blog with all honesty and got the following email back " Yes you did .. and you know you did....... but it won’t happen again.. trust me " I am sadden she thinks I have only bad towards her. Now maybe it was because of blog comments we exchanged yesterday regarding her " Leather Family " she is now in.

Honestly I was confused with some of her replies, since what I had read was no one controlled anyone else in a " Leather Family " yet she is telling me she wouldn't place it on FetLife that she is her two Sir's family until her two Sirs place it on theirs, now to me and my stupid thinking she should be proud she is in that family and doesn't need any ones permission to tell people, I just don't get it....

So, I am sadden that morningstar doesn't/won't believe when I say I wasn't trying to embarrass or get under her skin, but I WASN'T but rather confused with her conflicting statements. So yet again we have crossed swords even though that was NEVER my intentions at anytime.

Sadly on my part, I am sure, I will totally back off on making ANYMORE comments/thoughts/good wishes/sadness/observations or anything else that morningstar says or writes. I will no longer attend any BDSM event/party or anything else where she is attending so I can't say/do anything that will embarrass/interfere/humiliate or anything else her. I do hope I will run into my friends at other places.

This way she doesn't have to think I did it on purpose when actually I was confused or caring about something.

You must remember this.....

This was a great movie, it was a shame that Rick lost....

Love is blind....

I want to say how sorry I am to S***la for being the lousy boyfriend that I was to her. I took her for granted and thought she would always be there.

I forgot to do the things a boyfriend is should, suppose to & want to do.

" They " are truly correct when they say love is blind, because I sure was!!

So, to S***la I say for all to hear but especially to you I am VERY SORRY for all the pain I have caused you not only since the break-up but long, long before when I should have known better!! I may have not shown it to you but I loved you always.

May your next boyfriend treat you so much better and hold & kiss you daily, hourly and every other chance he gets.


ps: If there was only a real time machine, so I could correct things.

Dear life....