What am I doing?????

Here I am sitting at My computer thinking why am I here and knot over at the Condo and beating the hell of My littleone's lonely ass.... I know why and I don't like it :-((

Over the past week My mind has been on super drive and it really shouldn't be. I had to rush My 80 year old Mother to the local hospital because she couldn't catch her breath. Since she has a past history of serious heart condition the only wise thing to do was to get her to the hospital, unfortunately in this province the ambulance personnel MUST take a person in serious condition in their minds to the nearest hospital, in this case to the Charles LeMoyne Hospital, and knot to the her hospital that has all her records and in this case her meds.

I hate this hospital for its gross stupidty and lack of talking English!! For years it was know as a hospital that if you went in you never came out, at least that has changed somewhat. It has been 5 days and I haven't heard from any Heart Doctors or nursing staff just what the hell happened to My Mother. The only thing I have found out is this hospital did not give Mom some of her meds since the hospital didn't have them nor did THEY call and ask Me about Micardis medicine, if I had the time and the money I would love to sue them, but that isn't going to get anywhere as it is a government run place and Mr. Charest's government NEVER listens to the people just to themselves...

The worse part of this week is I am away in mind and body from My littleone, oh I think about her every minute but at the same time I need to stay away as My anger and confusion doesn't make Me a good Sir and she deserves only the best Sir and nothing else will do... Over the past couple of days I have just wanted to jump into the car and go and beat her ass and tits until they are so black and blue she will be smiling for weeks after and then just as fast My need for her is gone. littleone one has said all weekend that I need this time away from her and all I can think is SHE needs the time away from Me and just maybe she does, well at least the condo is getting a good workout...

There just has be to a correct answer to keep everyone happy??????? God I thought I knew how to do that, but this week has shown Me if I ever knew it has gone and all I am doing it screwing things up.... That is ok for Me, but not for the others in My world, the ones that really count....

Someone new, something new.....

This should have been posted a couple of days ago, butt I haven't got permission yet to use a picture I shot* and one of the things I have ALWAYS said to any one in this lifestyle that the pictures I shot are yours and YOU decided who sees them. This policy applies especially to submissives/slaves, that is to say I ALWAYS give them the pictures directly and knot to their Dommants until such time as the submissive tells Me it is ok to give their Dommant the photo.

Now that is out of the way W/we have a play session with a " Newbie " couple last week along with something I have never had before, a house boy. That meant that littleone became an " Alpha " subbie butt more about that later I want to talk about the house boy. The house boy really was O/our good friend C/cloud ( I am using / now for Cloud since he has gone back to being a switch ) and I must say to him well done and thank you!!! his service that night was just wonderful even though I know he was dying to be a brat ( something he loves to be when he is a sub ) but I made sure he couldn't be even had littleone email a form of a contract of his duties for the evening including his behavior to his " Liege ". Since the moment littleone came up with the idea of having a house boy I teased C/cloud about it. Mostly by second guessing everything he would come up with from the moment I invited him over. I thought and I was correct he would love what was going to happen, but I also thought he would enjoy it more if he didn't know what was going to happen. Oh he tried to find out things from Me and also littleone all week while W/we talked to each other on MSN Messenger..

Now, as for O/our " Newbie " couple, this couple are two lovely people that a couple of months ago wouldn't have even looked at each other I believe especially in the lifestyle. He was into the scene but as a shy submissive looking for a strong FemDom, but really never found one. On the most part sat on the sidelines and watched and hoped. ( sorry I have to stop for a min while I canned littleone to finish her blog ) Now as life would have it, after months of no luck finding that FemDom He runs into this nice vanilla single parent of the same school that his kids belong to and wham they click, but only in the vanilla way and that was great. Somehow I really don't or can't remember she seem to get more interested in the lifestyle, to the point that he had to change from submissive to Dommant. Well I must tell you that My head was turning circles but with the biggest grin for Him, butt at the same time tears, see the problem is He is too much of a teddy bear and she was getting into the scene by leaps and bounds. I know that feeling that He was going though " How can I hit her, I was brought up knot to hit a lady? " and she was demanding ( My word there ) more and harder treatment. So littleone and I tried to assist each one of them to either move faster or slower depending on who W/we were talking to. Long story short W/we invited them over to an evening of friendly lifestyle discussion and seeing the dungeon and that night was a hit. Well, I got an email from Him a few days ago asking nicely if they could use the dungeon sometime. Now, I must say that I love it when " Newbies " ask to use or learn things especially if it involves the dungeon, since I am a bit of a voyeur and teacher. After seeing what I did see on Friday night** I don't think I will be using the term " Newbie " with this couple ever again, oh yes they need more work on techniques butt they are well on their way to a great BDSM life and I can hardly wait until the next time they are over to the dungeon....

All in all Friday was a great evening. Oh, I was going to tell you are about littleone's first time as an " Alpha " sub, well she didn't like it in her words " ………. anyway.. maybe it worked maybe it didn't.. but i do know in a lot of ways i felt very uncomfortable having him serve …. and be in the shadows… sort of like i was being a bad hostess… " and I think she has told you what her opinion is on this " Alpha " thing is... of course, that doesn't mean it isn't going to happen again.....

* I finally got permission for this picture:



** I was given permission for this one from the couple:

Will that be Chinese??

Well, first let Me tell everyone that things around here are working themselves out and I have to say that everything is going along nicely, so My thanks to everyone that offered their best wishes along to Myself and littleone..

A couple of weeks ago while O/our best friend Cloud or now as he is going to be known around the condo as drakor, aka dave, was over here looking to get some nude pictures taken, I started to " fool " around with a set of chopsticks on littleone, well I opened up another can of worms sort to speak...

Tonight after dropping in for a cup or two of coffee at drakor's I decided to stop off at the local Dollarama store ( for those outside Canada, it is a store that sells all sorts of things for just $1.00/tax no matter what it is ) to purchase a couple of sets of pretty Chinese chopsticks



to use on littleone. Well you should have seen littleone's eyes light up with all the pretty choices that they offered. littleone thought I would only be purchasing one set, but the photographer in Me had other ideas, I ended up purchasing 4 sets to be used in some photo shoots....

littleone has had only one thing on her little subbie mind for the past week, that being willow switches that W/we picked up last week. I wish to publicly thank swan's Master, Raheretic, for all his fine detailed information of willow switches. So, I am hoping and planning of using that information to good use tomorrow once W/we ( drakor, Daemonica and littleone ) return from O/our shopping trip to Il Bolero to purchase an old fashion " HeadMaster's " cane to use on littleone's ass... Well I thought I would take littleone's mind off those switches and use a set of chopsticks on her tonight even though her pussy wasn't shaved yet ( that will be done tomorrow without fail ) and I do apologize to those who can't stand hairy cunts. Here are just some of the pictures I took...
















With so many other pretty chopsticks and with the combination of a mix and match littleone can look forward to many more Chinese chopstick sessions over the next few months....