Saturday, May 27, 2006

What am I doing?????


Here I am sitting at My computer thinking why am I here and knot over at the Condo and beating the hell of My littleone's lonely ass.... I know why and I don't like it :-((

Over the past week My mind has been on super drive and it really shouldn't be. I had to rush My 80 year old Mother to the local hospital because she couldn't catch her breath. Since she has a past history of serious heart condition the only wise thing to do was to get her to the hospital, unfortunately in this province the ambulance personnel MUST take a person in serious condition in their minds to the nearest hospital, in this case to the Charles LeMoyne Hospital, and knot to the her hospital that has all her records and in this case her meds.

I hate this hospital for its gross stupidty and lack of talking English!! For years it was know as a hospital that if you went in you never came out, at least that has changed somewhat. It has been 5 days and I haven't heard from any Heart Doctors or nursing staff just what the hell happened to My Mother. The only thing I have found out is this hospital did not give Mom some of her meds since the hospital didn't have them nor did THEY call and ask Me about Micardis medicine, if I had the time and the money I would love to sue them, but that isn't going to get anywhere as it is a government run place and Mr. Charest's government NEVER listens to the people just to themselves...

The worse part of this week is I am away in mind and body from My littleone, oh I think about her every minute but at the same time I need to stay away as My anger and confusion doesn't make Me a good Sir and she deserves only the best Sir and nothing else will do... Over the past couple of days I have just wanted to jump into the car and go and beat her ass and tits until they are so black and blue she will be smiling for weeks after and then just as fast My need for her is gone. littleone one has said all weekend that I need this time away from her and all I can think is SHE needs the time away from Me and just maybe she does, well at least the condo is getting a good workout...

There just has be to a correct answer to keep everyone happy??????? God I thought I knew how to do that, but this week has shown Me if I ever knew it has gone and all I am doing it screwing things up.... That is ok for Me, but not for the others in My world, the ones that really count....

5 comments:

CLoud said...

you will find your way it just takes time . Your friends are here should you need them.

RAheretic's swan said...

Sometimes even Masters have to submit to the whims of the Universe. I suspect that, if you are anything like my own Dear Master, this reality makes you absolutely crazy. He hates it when He cannot control EVERYTHING -- when the larger realities will not bend to His will. When that sort of thing begins to occur, it simply frustrates and infuriates Him on many, many levels.

I am terribly sorry for the difficulties you are encountering at this time. I hope that your mother finds her way to healing and wellness soon, and that life returns to something more calm and satisfying soon...

swan

Jo aka SeaRabbit said...

Reading you about you and your mother's hospital experience, I thought you were talking about the hospital in my neighbourhood... an hospital I never went but once, recently... and I wish I will never go again... I'm talking about Fleury hospital, well know also for being one of those you don't come out...
Only wish things will settle down a bit soon for you ...;-)

Lady Baltimore said...

Geez, and I thought that the Canadian health care system was really great. Can you transfer your Mom to her own hospital? Is she stable enough to move now that she's under care? Will the system allow her to transfer to her regular hospital?
I hope everything ends up okay.
Take care.
I'll send good wishes your way.

Lady Baltimore said...

I liked the "smiling for weeks" part of your post the best. :D