The other day I was told in a couple of emails I was an " Ass " as well as " You must not be well-because if you were well and right in the head " plus " You are clueless ", well I might go along with being an Ass, but being not well or clueless??A friend of O/ours before the breakup and hopefully afterwards once pulled me aside and said that I shouldn't get involved with any of morningstar's vanilla family and I told him nahhh I could handle it without any problems, well guess what?? HE WAS RIGHT ! Oh they claimed they understood what O/our lifestyle was all about, but deep down I don't ever think they did and that is fine since I don't think everyone in this cruel world has to understand or accept the BDSM lifestyle. Deep down the more I became stronger to their Mom ( at her wishes ) the more they didn't like it ( now I am sure I carried those wishes out at the wrong times ), but never had the guts to say anything directly to me at least ( claimed they wrote lots of emails but never sent them so to my mind of thinking same damn thing as not saying anything! ) and what I understand nothing to their Mom either. I hate it when someone doesn't like something and won't say anything about it, but will keep it inside!!
Well, at this stage of the game, they are now out of my life and I have dealt with that, but here is some advise to any future Doms and submissives that wish to learn from others mistakes:
DON'T MIX VANILLA AND BDSM FAMILIES !!
10 comments:
Since the vast majority of families are made up of vanillas, how exactly do you propose to not mix with them? Isolate ourselves from anyone who isn't exactly like us? It doesn't seem feasible.
~~A
Is it feasible you asked, short answer yes!
I should have just " played " with morningstar and not attend ANY family events, that way morningstar and I couldn't have been hurt.
Well, I think you're placing too much emphasis on the BDSM aspect. All families criticize the ex when there is a breakup. If they didn't have that to blame, they would have found something else. If they would have been gossiping about you guys having money issues or arguing a lot or whatever, they would have told her about it now and said, "We've been upset for some time!" All families do that after a breakup, vanilla or not. For instance, my oldest and closest friend married a man who has moved her all over the world. She now lives so far away from me, we are on different *days*. I don't like this because I miss her but she seems happy.
But I don't like it. Not one bit.
So if they broke up, and she said *anything* about how she didn't like moving around so much, I'd be quick to chime in and say, "Yeah, he moved you around too much!"
You know what I'm saying? Even if her family had all been kinky as hell, they'd still be blaming you. That's just the way families are.
You can say that next time you'll stay separate from your partner's family and that way, nobody can say anything hurtful but don't delude yourself that it's something to do with being vanilla or not. Vanillas do the same thing, they just have different ways to blame, that's all.
If they couldn't understand what was going on between you two, well, for one, that's their loss and two, really none of their business. Yes? :) ~~A
I don't think there will ever be a next time, as I have shut down and built the walls so high no one is getting in, not even my long time and dearest friends.
It is going to be safer that way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKY-smJ6aBQ
I've listened to that song many times in my life over broken relationships or dreams and it helped me grieve. I hope it helps you, too.
But truthfully, no man or woman is an island. Not even you. :)
~~A
After reading your blog it is apparent that you have no clue about what is actually going on. You are only telling less than half of the story, since you were the one who contacted the family to solicit such a response you are now telling one seventh of the actual story.
Also you have not completely read the emails, or tried to understand what the family was trying to say. All you did was attack us – when all we did was stay out of something that was between you and someone we care greatly for – our Mom, you came back and attacked us looking for us to feel sorry for you. It was you who asked for us to react, and when you didn’t like what we had to say you blamed our lack of understanding of BDSM. Well Sir we are not as blind as it may seem, we have more knowledge than you think. And the point is that no “Master” should ever attack the children of his “submissive” – EVER! The children and ex husbands of your (now ex) sub were not part of the deal, they are not automatically by proxy your property... you have no rights to them.
Everyone needs support – but what your commenter(s) need to know is that until you sent the family a nasty hurtful email we were quite content to stay out of it. This has nothing to do with your BDSM relationship with our Mom, it has to do with what you did to US when you didn’t get your own way. They need to know that you were never called the names you claim, we said that your actions were childish, that they made you look like an ass, and that you were acting crazy. You have ruined the good memories by all the hurtful things you have said and that is your fault.
Sir you need to man up and take responsibility for your actions here, and stop playing games.
Boo, Hoo, hoo Dae,
You claim/write " everyone needs support " so where was your family's support during this mess?, NO WHERE, at ANYTIME, not even a word saying you where going to stay out of things!! You wrote in your email to me how you had written emails but never sent them, how you were going to call/see me in person, but you NEVER did.
As for the name calling I bet you haven't read your Brother-In-Law's email that was sent.
Up until your mother wrote in her blog about the family's actions or lack of them I had stepped back and didn't contact any of you and was just happen about that.
Maybe now I should post the emails you all wrote me then everyone can see for themselves and judge who is telling the truth?
I never claimed or acted as my ex's family were " my property " directly or via " proxy " those are your words!!
So as your sister is always saying " Sucks to be you " if you don't like hearing the truth about your family's lousy support and treatment you have shown to me then don't read the MY blog!!
i have a question.......
where is the support from your friends/family to me ?? i haven't heard a word from any of them.
i guess your friends take it the same way my family does..the breakup of a relationship divides (at least for a time) the support given.. his and hers
And please don't threaten to post private emails...... i have every one of them.. as well as an "ad" ... i thought the dirty laundry was going to stay private...
yet you HAD to post this post .. had to "poke the sleeping bear" ...
can't we all just let it go now.. it's enough
morningstar
morningstar,
Dae " poke the sleeping bear " NOT ME !!!!!!
As for the support of My friends and as you well know I don't have a family anymore, All I have told them is we broke off and I wish to be alone and they have honored that wish! They all have said if you or I need to talk just contact them.
As for the " ad " I have no problem posting that I was looking for someone to have A (1) bondage session.
I wouldn't post private email unless I was getting pushed in it. I know I made mistakes, but I am also not going to let things that are clearly not correct to just go away, I am not a doormat either, just a GOS ( Good old Sir ).
Seems we ALL just can't let it go. Hell, I was even hoping that in time we all could be friends but that sure looks like that is NEVER going to happen :-(
It seems to be that relationships (vanilla and D/s) are no so different as one may think in terms of blending lives. There are friends and family that come along with it. And when there is a break up people often take sides. That can be rough.
It is hard do deal with break ups because of the extra things on top of the pain and changes that happen instantly. There are friends, relatives, all sorts of emotions. I do not think any one person is ever 100% innocent. Before or after the break up.
I find it sad that you are giving up on a future situation being better than this last experience. I know it comes from hurt. You were in a serious relationship for a long time and it hurts to not have that. But, shutting even friends out will not protect you but hurt you. Believe me I know from experience. Grieve, protect yourself but don't close off completely. That would be a real shame a big mistake.
No, you don't know me. I don't know you but from your entries. But I'm a human being and so are you and I care what happens to you all. I hope that the pain and drama of this time in your lives starts to ease and you can all move on to something better.
<3
Post a Comment