What am I missing here???

Well Christmas come and passed and the reviews are in.

I have a great deal of more work to be done it seems, the presents were acceptable but the presentation was lack lusted, just seems to Me that I can't get the hang of things, I wonder IF I ever will, maybe I was never cut out to be a Sir or it just in My system?? Maybe a GOS can never be a Sir, I was hoping that was never true.

littleone was counting down the days, hours, minutes to getting what she thought was going to be an all day pain session and all she really got was a pain for a Sir... oh I did give her new Christmas presents a workout but just knot the whole day she was looking forward to, God know she deserves it, but I am knot sure I will be able to fill her needs/wants/desires EVER :-((

The only thing I can come up with is to keep trying until there is nothing left in Me to honestly make littleone happy then it is My responsibility to start looking around to find that Sir Ma'am/Master Mistress/Dom Domme to fill her needs where I couldn't, then that will be the sadist day in My life.

AND littleone, I am knot saying I am leaving you..... just as you do thinking

To Everyone......

Let it be known that all year Christmas is a BAH HUMBUG, butt on this day may you all have a most WONDERFUL day filled with all the love and wishes that You and your other ( whom that may be ) that your heart can hold....

....Ebenezer Sir

HO, HO, HO... The Christmas spirit has started

Well on most Christmas days I am usually heard while walking around saying BAH HUMBUG and meaning it, but I must say that since I have now found a great way to hang those Christmas cards that W/we have received from O/our friends I might just start going around saying bah humbug instead but with a smile on My face.

littleone, is looking forward to this Xmas season since she got the good word from those medical Santa's and thus is also looking forward to Me giving her Xmas presents the way she likes them, and have I gone over board this season too, but have I told you I don't like Christmas, yet I do love celebrating it with littleone ;-) let's just hope she too will enjoy celebrating with the same passion after seeing what is the hanging from the chains as I will.

Look forward to her up cumming blogs in the near future discussing those presents, ohhhhh I am very, very sure she IS going to blog about them :-))

Wondering out loud about things.....

Yes I know :-(( it has been a few weeks since I have blogged but life and lifestyle has gotten in the way....

I have been doing some thinking and YES it did hurt.... Lately things around here has been like a 3 ring circus between littleone's daughters getting ready for their weddings next year, the addition of houseboy and now littleone's health problems ( Mine basically I hope are over ).

The weddings:

Basically at this time I am sitting back and watching, listening and being there for littleone when the two daughters go though the trials and tribulations of getting ready for their weddings and in My mind the one up-manship that almost all sisters go through.... So My role at this time is to be there for littleone when the kids say or do something that really drives littleone to the hills and tears. I will take mental notes, be there for driving duties, and getting deals if they are in My power to get and then wait until I have to step in and protect My littleone from really getting hurt AND TRUST Me when I say this, if the wedding arrangements or the kids start/are hurting their Mom then the wedding on O/our side will be cancelled!!

The houseboy:

This was a learning curve on My side. Could a switch that has always leaned on the Dominant side really be a slave/submissive ( what ever title one wishes to use ) to a submissive that truly has never been a Dominant ( in the lifestyle ). Well the mid-terms are in as far as I am concerned and the to Me I would give an A for effort by both the parties. As for the rest well I don't think anyone has failed in their areas, but I do think as the quote goes " You can't teach an old dog new tricks ". Everyone is trying their best, but on each side they aren't happy and this isn't good in My thinking.

littleone's Health:

Here is an area that at this stage is too early to talk about since the tests, results and all that Medicial stuff that has to be done is ahead of littleone. The only thing I know, feel and MUST happen is My support is there, wants to be there, every step of the way. I still haven't understood 100% this thing littleone has, but I do trust her Doctor that has said it isn't cancer ( now I haven't talked to the Doctor directly yet, but in the past this Doctor has shown the wisdom that I do like in My Own Doctors ) so I will step back on the medical side other than driving and sitting with littleone every test, procedure that she has and then I will be there when the Doctor sits downs with US and tells U/us the results and or needed cure.

Do I have all the answers? No Am I going to have all the answers? No, BUT I sure as hell am going to do My best to see that this lifestyle that I and littleone have will remain on track ( sorry littleone, I had to mention O/our trains ) and nothing will derail O/our dreams to live it NO MATTER who tries, directly or indirectly to screw it up !!

Stay tune later the updates.......

Well it is Official.....

Let it be know near and far that I along with littleone now have a houseboy and it's name is drakor.

This afternoon the three of U/us drove over to O/our favorite BDSM store Il Bolero to see Johnny and Franca about getting houseboy his collar that will now be used while he is in O/our presence at all times. When W/we got back to the Condo it was pleasure to sign, along with littleone, the contract that was worked out and agreed on finally listing his hard limits all 34 of them.

Once the pomp and ceremony was done it was back to getting on with the normal routine that being houseboy cleaning the Condo ( he is also littleone's paid cleaning person ) then littleone getting down to her taking control of him which I have no doubt she is going to post all the details about that.....

So, I have now entered a new era in My BDSM lifestyle that being a Sir to littleone and a Co-Owner of houseboy, I wonder what is next?

On the mend and littleone likes it too......

Well it has been awhile since I sat down in front of the keyboard, but it has been a bit busy. Since the gall bladder operation that was only going to keep Me down for a couple of days turned into a few weeks. It would seem that between the severe reaction to the pain pills the Doctors gave Me to an infection at the main incision site.......

But I must be on the mend, I played hard ( or at least for now ) with littleone and she seemed happy with My performance..... I can only hope I will be back in full force soon ( even with My vanilla life butting in ).....

Well that is it for now butt if I didn't say this I would be a lousy Sir.......

THANK YOU LITTLEONE for EVERYTHING and BEING THERE for Me...

Just a quickie...

This is the nurse I thought I would have after coming home from My Gall-Bladder operation and having a slave nurse getting back at Me for all My treatment of her for the past 6 years.

WELL, what I saw and have been treated to is like the nurse below...

and All I have to say to My Nurse Littleone is THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE.....

Sir,

Owner of morningstar and Nurse Littleone :-)))

I'm so tired of......

This is a rant, a rant to Myself, it is meant for only Me, but I need to write it down somewhere and here I write it..... so don't make it more than what it is a rant from a tired old man in a young man's body....



I am F*cking tired of getting things wrong not all the time, but the majority of it..



I should do this or I shouldn't have done that,

I should say this or I shouldn't have said that,

I should have thought or I shouldn't have thought,

I should have been there or I shouldn't been there,

I should have spent more time or I shouldn't have spent that long,

I should play harder or I shouldn't have play that hard,

I should have listened or I shouldn't have listened,



All My life the above list and more that I didn't mentioned have been rounding around in My head and I would have thought by now I would have found or acted the correct way, but get this I haven't and I honestly don't think I am every going to either, as someone is always saying " SUCKS TO BE ME "



Well that is it for Me until the next goof up........

A couple of things...

Hello again fellow BDSM bloggers....

First off, sorry for knot posting before this, butt life can just get in the way of things that one should be taken care of, so the blog had to be placed on the back burner so other things could get done plus I am sure you have been reading littleone's blog...

Now down to the main reason for this update, yesterday W/we had do go to the $store to get a couple of convertibles for the new house boy's session tomorrow. While littleone was getting her "boy's" things I noticed something in the pet section....

got your attention yet>>>?? well here is the what that toy looked like before the fun started...

Now littleone thought this wasn't going to be a bad little toy as she thought all I was going to do was just brush her ass with it, well the first area I decided to attack lightly was her nipples ( an area that she is always saying are off limits to Me * surprise NO area of her bod is off limits to Me at ANYTIME * ) with just light tapping and brushing and WOW did she go nuts and have a jaw dropping reaction....

Awhile later in the day I decided that littleone was getting restless, so I figured another session was in order but this time on her ass, well BROTHER was she yelling words under her breath, personally I think a couple of pictures are better than My poor choice of words so here are just a couple to show you the results... oh and by the way, littleone hasn't stopped bitching about the burning and soreness of her ass exspecially after I cleaned her ass with Witchhazel something I always do or have her do when there is blood....

BTW the train layout is moving along even though I have decided that the backround pictures should be replaced with backround models like the one below....

Until the next time I blog, do have a Knotty day......

Feeling sad for littleone....

This is how littleone was looking this morning and I am feeling sad for her mostly since W/we were suppose to be on O/our way the the annual WITW ( Weekend in the Woods ) BDSM camp that W/we both were looking forward to attending.....

I don't really know at this time what is wrong with her except she tells Me every bone in her body is killing her and she was walking like a 100+ year old when she went for her morning smoke, she is now in bed and I would strongly think feeling really sad for all her hard work getting ready for the camp ( see the pic ) will now be wasted..

she has just crawled downstairs in tears saying how sorry she is she has ruined the trip and that I should take O/our friend Cloud in her place, but hell what fun would that be, not that Cloud isn't a good fellow and all, but hell is just wouldn't be the same without My littleone!!!!

Maybe, although I sure as hell won't push it ( yes, GOS is still around ) littleone will be better latter today or tomorrow to want to hit the road. Personally, I think W/we should just forget about the money W/we paid for the camp and get My littleone back in 100% shape so I can beat the hell out of her, don't you agree folks???

This ones for you kaya...

kaya.........

you said in your comment to littleone's " Gift " blog " Ouch, well then these pics must be double OUCH, what do you think??

6 and counting....

Well today was O/our 6th anniversary together as Sir and slave. Over the years W/we have had O/our ups and downs, butt thank God more ups than downs.

I am sure I didn't give littleone everything she wanted today, but this isn't out of the norm, butt I do hope I gave her a few things to remember this year's event as the pictures show below...

you should be able to see the puddle ( more like a pond ) of littleone's 6 organisms...

Below is the Dragon that littleone gave Me to symbolise My being her Dragon...

Thanks littleone for putting up with this Old Sir :-)))

The Yin and Yang of it.......

Here is the Yin......

Well this weekend started out I thought on a good side, first O/our friend Cloud, drakor, dave what every name he is using at this time dropped in for coffee and a chat about BDSM things like his wearing ladies panties under his shorts....

I and littleone had planned on going out to a restaurant that W/we like very much that is located by a canal and boardwalk to celebrate the start of littleone's vacation. As you can see I soon had her on her knees, ok she was trying to get a picture of a spider for O/our friend Buffalo that had just gone through a very bad reaction of a spider bite and littleone thought it would be oh so cute to send Him one since she is a little brat at times....



After a great meal at the restaurant and a great time down at the canal shooting loads of " artsy fartsy " pictures using My new Nikon D40 and littleone's Kodak W/we headed back home for well deserved rest

Saturday was a good time as littleone wrote in her blog..... I did enjoy doing all the things I did to her all day :-))

Now here comes the Yang....

Sunday started off by Me letting littleone sleep in until almost 8:00 AM ( something she had bitched about not being allowed to do with My pill taking schedule ). littleone really doesn't do well until she has had her morning coffee and cigarette and today was no exception, but I have learnt to live with this.

Next was the last straw that broke the camel's back for this month's Sunday Monthly Munch RSVP's or shall I say the lack of them! This month I had decided to hold a play party BBQ at the Condo instead of the normal restaurant location, well a couple of female Doms had decided not to attend yet their stories didn't even match even though they were going or not together. In the discussion with littleone about holding the play party littleone once again brought up about how the local BDSM community is always wanted things like munches, play parties but never seem to support them, just to name one Mistress Jade, I don't know what I have done to tick her off but in her website she always listed our monthly munch, now ( even after sending her a couple of emails to remind her just in case she had forgotten ) she never lists them even though she claims to support the whole BDSM community with her site. Oh there are some that knock themselves out for the community like Lady Viktoria and I thank Her for all her best efforts.

Once this discussion ended I decided to head for the basement and try working on the train layout so I can get to the level of completion like the picture shows, littleone had decided to start working on the tunnel/mountain/waterfall that she has had in her head for awhile, well soon lunch was called and I headed for the table, during the lunch littleone was getting upset with the fact that the tunnel wasn't going well and she really didn't know how it was going to work. Unfortunately this lead to a hot and heavy discussion and upset feelings on both sides only this time I stopped long before I normally do and headed back downstairs this would accomplish two things littleone time to cry and unwind while I packed up the work I started on and get ready to leave for home as I had finally had it with everyone and everything. After cleaning up things I went up stairs to get things ready to leave, but littleone was no where to be found on the ground level, I thought she had gone out for a walk ( that is her way to handle stressful things ) but no she was upstairs on the computer with her new games and that was fine with Me. Long story short I decided not to leave, but I was hoping that littleone didn't bring up the subject again as I know I would put My mouth in My foot ( I am good at that when I am upset ) and this time I didn't wish to do that so I sat on the couch reading things on the Net that I need to do. I told littleone that I was silent because of My fear. Well after a couple of hours littleone fell at My knees and wanted to fix the problem, the short of it she did although not completely as I feel her lovely gift of the train is going to be the death of U/us. I have always hoped that the trains would be a great thing for U/us to do together but it seems it isn't.





So there is the Yin and Yang of the weekend, except I did have to leave this evening because of planned things at home, but I did leave in My mind that things are back on track ( sorry for the pun ) well at least there wasn't a bid derailment...

PS: littleone's War and Peace length blogs must be rubbing off on Me

It Sucks being a Dom that is correct.....

It sucks being a Dom that needs to make sure that the health of His slave cums first before anything else...

Over this weekend, My littleone told Me that she felt abandoned, well in a sense she is correct but for the wrong reason she is thinking... For almost 6 years of school ends I have seen My littleone go "nuts" getting everything round up and ship shape for the following school year. In the past this task is tough for that " tough old bird " of Mine as she watches her " flock " leave for a new " grown-up " life that she has done her best getting them ready for. This year has been a bit tougher because knot only are her work bosses driving her " nuts " but the school staff seems to be up tight and causing problems for her that normal doesn't happen and one more thing some of her " bad " kids during the year came up to her earlier this month and pleaded with her to attend their graduation ceremonies, something she rarely attends...

So, because of this I have had to make a decision that she thinks that I am abandoning instead of playtime, well I did give her playtime ( see the pictures below ) but I also decided that she must get some rest time before the last 4 days of school end, so she was left to go out to her secret garden to do some reading ( something she loves and doesn't get a heck of a lot of time to do around here ) serving this old Dom....

So, yes it does suck sometimes to be a caring Dom, but in this case I am going to have to just suck it up......

Sometimes it just happens.....

First off, as My littleone pointed out in her blog I got a new SLR camera a Nikon D40 18-55mm system... Wow what a camera, it is going to take time to find out all the things it can be done with it, it ain't like My old Pentax 1000 SLR.

So needless to say I HAD, just had to take some pictures of My littleone doing what she loved doing the best.... I think the pictures say much more than My words so I am just going to let you see the results of the weekend that really didn't seem to go the way both of U/us wanted to but sometimes it just happens.... Oh yes, I have also added some of My favorite shots of her too...

It seems that people want to know....

Well it seems that people in the know want to see the pictures that I took on Sunday with littleone's ass full of needles.


she did write about the experience in her blog butt she left out the pictures, now I ask you is that nice or fair?? I don't believe it is and since Buffalo, her friend, is itching to see them to find out if He will be doing the same thing to His lady I just had to show you them....


So, here they are including the results too......







ps: I will have better pictures in the future as I have just got a new SLR Nikon camera :-))

Can you explain it ???

Well another weekend of trains, floggings and getting into verbal trouble again....

The trains are on right on schedule, well sort of, I have been working on a RCMP Ford Explorer with flashing lights, but I needed to modify the car since it didn't come equipped with the flashing lights. I dropped into one of the two train stores W/we like to purchase a complete flashing light system. The head man there suggested instead of paying big bucks for this system I was smart enough to get the single parts and solder them together for a lot less bucks. Sounded a bit scary although I have done soldering in the past it, it HAS been quite sometime, but I thought what can I lose, well I finally got the soldering done and tried it out and only one light work so back to the train store to get a replacement light since all the wiring checked....

Now, for the "can you explain it" question.... I flogged littleone's ass HARD yesterday as she pointed out in her blog and as the picture shows and as usual NO marks, none, nata, rien so what the hell am I doing wrong? I am doing everything that should mark littleone's ass so badly she should have the marks for days if not a week after one of these beatings.... Maybe somewhere out there in the BDSM world can give Me some pointers...

As for the verbal trouble lets just say that I goofed.... Will I do it again?, oh I am quite sure I will and that will self banish Me down to the train room to think of what I did....

Occasionally.......

Well the weekend is almost over and I have just finished doing one of My favorite things, see the pictures below about these two things.... ( hope littleone can see the marks on her ass since she didn't think she had any, something W/we both stride for butt seem to fail no matter how hard or long I hit )

Occasionally, a Dom has to stop and have a good laugh at what cums out of His slave's mouth during a flogger ( something that happens when One doesn't use a gag ). This afternoon while I was giving littleone a sound beating that she has been looking for, I asked her one of My test questions to see if she was past the state of no return " littleone, why do you love Me? " and her answer was the following " because You beat my ass.... occasionally ". Normally the reply to that question is just " because You beat my ass" butt when I heard the latest version I just had to laugh.....

Overall this is the kind of a weekend that I DO enjoy, spending time with good friends ( W/we were invited over for supper and an evening of fun with old Lifestylers, that have now turn vanilla ), working on My trains and playing with My littleone.... and balancing everything without any problems....

her pussy is hurting awhhhhhhhhhhhh

littleone was just lying in her chair yet I could tell that she was thinking again ( something bad in a slave ) so I figured that something had to be done to fix this....

So, I figured that I she would never think I would use the same toys that I did last weekend so I did only I changed the fancy summer clothes pegs for a set of heart ones... Of course, I had been flogging her with that " key ring flogger " as littleone calls it....

Well, by the time I had finished all I could hear from littleone was " my pussy is hurting " ahhhhhhh what a lovely start to a weekend...

Some times gifts are not always fun for the giver.....

Last Feb for St. Valentine's Day My littleone gave Me what she thought was going to be a fun gift for her, a set of heart shaped clothes pegs, only problem was these weren't really clothes pegs butt more alligator clips....

Well, I thought this was lovely and decided that for every holiday that littleone go out to O/our Dollar store and get a set of clothes pegs/clips for that holiday... Since W/we have been a tad busy for the past weekends I haven't had the time to really use the past holidays set, so on Friday night ( a mellow out BDSM night ) I decided to get them out and use them and here are the results....

So, when IS the next holiday??? :-))

This is how evil I am.....

You Are 60% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

How evil are you?

Here is a sample of how evil I can be early in the morning....

Damn I did it again ;-((

Once again I have returned home leaving littleone upset, frustrated and crying..... I am publicly writing this instead of writing/talking to littleone directly for in My mind I want littleone to know that I do care and I am just as upset as she is with My actions or lack of them...

I was planning to have a session this morning with her after the vanilla side of the weekend was over, but when I woke up this morning both My mind and body just weren't into ANYTHING and I really don't know why. Oh this feeling has come over Me over the 50+ years I have lived on this planet and I suppose it is a some form of depression ( that I have had before ).

All that is in My mind right now is:

I am Sorry,
I Screwed up once again,
the more I tried to fix things the more I fail, the more I fail littleone

and her quest to find the " right " Dom/Master/Sir that can give her all the BDSM lifestyle she wants and needs.

It hurts Me that I don't seem to have " Right Stuff " to satisfy littleone's lust for a 24/7 lifestyle. Over those 50+ years I have knot only let her down but I have failed others that have placed their trust in Me, but the one I have failed the worst is Me, My ability to make something of Me that My ancestors would have been proud of....

Like I posted before littleone/morningstar is Number 1 and deserves more that I can give her as she is

one hell of a slave....

Playing Second Fiddle????

littleone is feeling like she is a second fiddle because of school people, family and Me and she is sad, in tears at My feet and I really don't have the answers that I need to give her....

First off, the school people ARE treating her like a second fiddle and I am really thinking of going to her boss and telling him to smarten up along with his staff or I will tell/order her to go on LTD again... Of course this isn't really going to help her as the salary will be cut too much to live the way she is now ( and she isn't living high on the hog either )...

Family, well I am letting this one pass, at least for the moment.....

In My mind I am feeling like I am walking a tightrope, caught between a rock and hard place. I tried to explain this to littleone but I only succeeded in making her cry ( and knot the happy crying ).


The one thing I want littleone and everyone else to know in MY books she is:

Space to let ????

I have just come back to home after spending a lovely weekend with My littleone. W/we got in a bit of needling in on Friday, a good ( in My opinion ) flogging and cropping Saturday afternoon before we headed off to have supper and good conversation with some American friends and local ones too...

The only one thing that got to Me was something littleone said today while I was working on My model trains ( oh, I have told you lately about it and the great work littleone is doing on the scenery ). W/we were in the train room ( formerly the small BDSM playroom and treadmill ) littleone was pointing out that she had trouble getting into the closet that holds all her holiday nic nacks and mostly the treadmill because since the train table been brought in from the den/reading room upstairs ( the room I wanted ) it had forced the treadmill to go across the doors of the closet. I agreed and suggested that I move the shelving units on the wall to the opposite side wall of the room and then the doors and treadmill would be easier to get to, maybe not as good as if the trains weren't there but it was a start. littleone made an off the cuff remark that it wasn't her room anymore and I could do wanted I wanted. That brought back something to Me that littleone had said when I first collared her and that was everything she owned would was and would be Mine. Now, I never really took that statement to action, but I did take it to heart and now I was being told that " Her " rooms weren't hers anymore and in her actions and most likely in her heart too she meant it.

So, now I am feeling like I or at least My trains are no longer wanted by her, but rather unwanted guests in Her condo. I don't wish/want her condo or anything else that is hers ( since she has worked hard to get those things ) but at least in My mind ( and yes, I have made mistakes before by speaking My thoughts ) I should be able to chose any room I wish or want to. Now, since I am known as a GOS I have to say in littleone's defence about the den/reading room it was set up for her late Aunt Olive that she adored and it was the Aunt's whenever She showed up and it is the last remembrances of Her and I honestly didn't mind moving downstairs since I never met littleone's Aunt but from what I have heard I TOO would have adored Aunt Olive.

Well, that is want is on My mind tonight and I am sure it is going to bring tears and sadness to My littleone, but I am always telling her to be honest and don't lie, well I think I should do the same, don't you agree??

ps: Here is the lastest picture of the train layout, remember it is STILL a work in process and things have to be changed and cleaned up so don't look too close ....

Be careful when you ask something....

My littleone did just that, asked Me why I had her St. Valentine's day present in My backpack instead of downstairs in the " Playroom ". I think she was thinking that I had taken them home so I could use them on some other subbie....

Well the answer was simple, I had placed them in My backpack several weeks ago when I was packing up and just never took them out, didn't really need to they were safe there....

Of course, by her asking the question I told her she should remove them from the bag and bring them to Me so I could place them on her, you should have seen her face LMAO.....

Needless to say I did enjoy placing them on her tits, butt unfortunately I didn't take a self-portait but I did take some pics of this action and have placed them below....














Then littleone thought it was finished once I took off the clips from her tender boobs, but you can see clearly she did love them as her nipples were standing straight out, butt littleone was so wrong this time... I mentioned that W/we should see how the clips worked on her ass and once again you should have been there to see her face just " light-up " with that statement....

So once again I take the pleasure of showing you the results of My first attempt ( butt I assure you knot the last )....


















I DO love it when littleone does ask some questions especially when I am trying to think of something BDSM to do to her :-))

Well it's been awhile and lots of things have changed....

Well first let Me say to all of littleone's friends that were here for her when I left for My " hiatus " and the support you all gave her, THANKS.....

W/we have talked over things and straightened out a few things and a NEW set of protocols have been agreed to, so that W/we are going to see if they will work better and that way what W/we had stays and only gets stronger...

Now as fate would have it, the Gods have seen fit to drive U/us nuts again though.... Over the past week littleone has been off work fighting what the first set of Doctors claimed was a 5 day Flu, well the the second set of Doctors have now found out that littleone has pneumonia and has been given some badly needed meds and told to stay off work for another 48 hours, of course littleone is going nuts because it is tax receipt time and she believes that SHE is the ONLY one that can do them, well she is only partly correct, she is the ONLY one that can do them CORRECTLY....

Saying all that W/we were only able to get to play a bit on the weekend, something littleone and I were looking forward to.... littleone wrote in her blog what she did when she purchased My St. Valentine's Day gift and here are some of the results, OHHHhh how I do love a slave that puts their own feet into their own mouths or in this case their pussies LOL......